Everyday I have the pleasure of a good laugh, mostly due to a blog I closely follow. This lady is HILARIOUS! If you enjoy a good raunchy laugh, do yourselves a favor and check her out. You can thank me later! lol
Lady Or Not… Here I Come! by Becca
Dear Health Guru,
Why do you not get invited to social gatherings? Because you are always fussing about our cheese fries or wings. We know our ass is getting bigger. That is what the gym is for. So when you say stupid sh*t like, “You are what you eat,” it takes everything I have not to say, “Then you must have eaten a douche bag!”
I watch you drink your wheat grass meals while I have my steak and savor every bite. While you drone on about your target heart rate during this morning’s run, I think about how I hit mine during this morning’s wild, hanging from the chandeliers, crazy, monkey sex-athon. I think life must suck for you that you have no fun.
Then when you start droning on about how my martini is shortening my life by a day for every drink I have, I just smile. I hope you enjoy your lifetime of eating food you really don’t like, and running until you want to die, and then getting hit by a bus. Then we can all call you a true goo-rue. I will be celebrating my 80th birthday with pizza and martinis.
Lady or Not… Here I Come!