Wish You Were Here….

I want to send a great big Happy Birthday, across the heavens to my little brother, my best friend always, the other half of my soul, my twin.

I’ll never forget you little bro. I miss you but I have a job to do and you already finished yours. I wish you were here so that I can see your eyes one more time when you laugh but truly, I know you wouldn’t come back even if you could. Your half of the soul was too good for this world, I think. This place hurt you too much. Now, I have peace knowing you’re happy and free once again, surrounded by all the love of heaven. You’ll be waiting when it’s my time, waiting to take my hand and show me all you already know.

I love you little brother. Happy Birthday. It’s so surreal thinking you’d be 46 (would you be fat and balding?) if you were still here but in reality, you’ll always be 18 for all eternity. Frozen in time.

John Clyde Akers II
April 10, 1967 to May 25, 1985

“Wish You Were Here”
Pink Floyd

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.


11 thoughts on “Wish You Were Here….

    • Thank you… it was a rough day yesterday. Some years are worse than others. This one was that kind of year. Not sure why but it just happens. Usually, in our family, from April 10 (birthday) thru May 25 (death day) , we all walk around with a kind of dread. Sometimes we can’t even put our finger on the reason why. And then we’ll remember and it all makes sense.

      But thank you. (((hugs)))

    • Thank you Shaun. I knew you’d be able to appreciate the song 😉 I do a song for him every year and sometimes it’s hard to choose. I try to pick something he’d like. This one he really DID like. Thank you though.

      • My pleasure.
        We can joke and laugh, as we do.
        But sometimes we must stop in honour of some things.

        Shaun x

      • Laughing is so much more fun though. Like right now, I’m still laughing about Peppa the pig and her happy family and her fire truck smashed upside your face. THAT’s more fun, I think. lol

        However, you’re right. I took my moment to honor and remember. Actually, I carry him with me always, so I guess I can say that he’s honored every day, with everything I do. I’ve always felt like because I’m the one who’s still living, I have to do enough living for both of us and try to honor him with everything I do. I mean, try to make him proud. I guess that’s a little weird but it’s what I do. Thank you for understanding.

      • Easy to understand all you need is a heart..
        I can laugh and be a pillock, but I also cry and have a heart 🙂

        Scottish people ain’t all stabby and shooting Knives!

    • Thank you my sweet sister. Yesterday was about as bad as a day could get without anyone dying. Today is going to be better, I’m SURE of it.

      The only GOOD thing that happened yesterday, besides the fact that nobody died AND I finally was able to pick up my hormones, was what Julia did for me. She wrote little notes and placed them all around the house. Happy Birthday notes were on the toilet and in the refrigerator and on my pillow and computer. lol Every place she knew I’d be, she left little surprise notes. It was SO sweet. Oh and my little 4 year old niece, Esme’ wrote 2 books for me that said (in squiggly lines) “Aunt Michelle, I love you so will you please stop smoking? I love you but I’m the boss, not you”. It cracked me UP! My brother brought over the girls for me to watch yesterday so I guess that was my bday present from him! lmbo

      I just reread this comment back to you and I can see how bleak this looks. BUT it was just a bad day. Today will e better 🙂 ALWAYS on my bday, it’s not a good day. Because my brother and I shared birthdays, it doesn’t ever feel good because he’s not here. I should learn to celebrate my bday on a different day so it won’t be sad.

      I Sure do love you guys! Hopefully Selah got her letters from all of us?

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